Best Jokes Urdu & Lataif and lateefay

مارچ 6, 2011 بوقت: 2:48 شام (Uncategorized)
Tags: Fun (Mazah) Humor, fun urdu, Funny Shayari, funny urdu poetry, Funny Urdu Poetry Urdu Jokes, urdu, urdu jokes, Urdu Lataif, urdu poetry

* maan pehli bar apne bete ko school chorne gai to master se kehne lagi.mera bacha bohot darpok or nazuk mazaj hay ap ise kabi marye ga nahi.agar yeh shararat kare ya sabak yaad na kare to ap is ke samne kisi dosre bachy ko pet dalein.is se hi ye dar jaye ga.

* mmajistrate: chor se tum ne yeh cycle kune chorai?
* mulzim: hazoor ye cycle muje kabristan main pari hoi mili.main ye samja ke is ka malik mar gya hay.

* aik admi ghabraya hoa doctor ke pas aya,kehne laga.doctor sahab gazab ho gya humare nanne mian ne petrol pee liyaab halat ye hay ke pure ghar main dhorta phirta hay. doctor sahab ne nihayat itmanan se jawab diya.ghabrao nahi makan ke darwaze band kar dojab petrol khatam ho jaye ga nanne mian khud hi ruk jayein gain.

* bab:beta!agar tum mehnat karo ge to tumhari shohrat dunya ke charo kono main pehl jaye gi.beta:lekin master sahab to keh rehy the ke zamin gol hay.

* ustaad bato 1974 main kon sa bara wakya pash aya? shagird: janab is din mera bara bhai peda hoa tha.

* aik salesmen cricket ka bohot shokin tha.aik dafa woh dor daraz aik kasbe main gya to is ne makami dokan dar se pucha,yahan koi team bhi hay? bilkul hay kal match bhi khele gi,dokan dar ne jawab diya. muje bhi khela lein gain woh log?salesmen ne phir kaha. zaror khelain gain kal medan main aa jana,dokandar ne jawab diya.salesmen ne dokan dar se mukamal kit kheridi or agle roz woh nai kit pehn kar medan main aa pohncha,dokandar bhi wahin majood tha.kesa lag raha hun?sales men ne dokandar se pocha. jach rehy ho dokan dar ne jawab diya.lekin match to football ka hay.

Usraad bache se tumhare walid ka kya naam hay? Bacha janab bijli din. Ustaad, bijli din yeh kesa naam hay? Bacha janab pehly un ka naam chrag din tha.lekin jab se science ne taraki ki haytab se unho ne apna naam bijli din rakh diya hay.

Ustaad shagird se:koi masal do ke sardion main cheezein sokarti hain or garmi main pehlti hain? Shagird ……. janab garmion main chotian phel kar dhai mehene ki oe sarion main sukar kar 15 din ki ho jati hain.

Nanne Raju se baab ne pocha,Raju …….Allah ne hum ko beat kune diya hay. Nanna jo masomiat se bola nikar bandane ke liye.

Mele main aik bacha apni maan se bechar gya.us ne aik sapahi ko rok kar pocha. Kya ap ne meri ammi ko bachy ke bager kahin jate dekha hay?

Molvi sahab (bache se) “parho beta h se halwa han shabash halaq se nikalo”. Bache ki maan ne andar se ghabra ke kaha”molvi sahab! Aap bache ke halaq se halwa na nikalwayen main or bana deti hun.

Ustaad”Akbar kab peda hoa or kab wafat pai?” Shagird”muje nahi pata”. Ustaad “apni tarekh ki katab main dekho”. Shagird”1605-1549”. Ustaad “tum ne ye pehly kune nahi parha” Shagird”main samja ke ye in ka telephonr number hay”

Aik makha or makhi film dekh kar canema se bahir aye.thori or dor pedal chalne ke bad makha ne makhi se pocha. Begam”pedal chalein ya kuta kar lain.

Aik kanjoos admi ne apne bachon se kaha. “jo raat ka khana nahi khaye ga main us ko 1 ropya dun ga” sab bache 1 rope ki khatar bhoke so gye. Subha naste ke waqt in ke baab ne sab ko aik aik ropya diya or phir bole “nashta is ko mile ga jo aik ropya wapis kare ga.

Nakho ka doctor marez ko ate dekh kar bola. “who aap ki nazar wakein kharab hay” magar ap ko kese pata chala?”marez heran ho kar boladoctor ne sakoon se jawab diya.Kune ke aap darwaze ki jaga kherki se andar aye hain.

Aik bekari dono hathon main kashkol uthaye bheek mang raha tha. Aik admi ne pocha”baba ye dono hathon main kashkol kun utha rakhein hain”. Fakir ne kaha”barte hoye karobar ki waja se main ne aik oe branch khol li hay”

Zehni amraz ke hospital main aik marez ko ruksat karte hoye doctor ne kaha. “aap humare alaj se sehatyab ho gain hain umeed hay ke aap ab to humhare bil ada kar dein gain?” marez ne shayana lehje main bola”kune nahi agar hum ne tumhara chand lakh ka hakir bill ada na kiya to humhein Akbar Badshah kun kehy ga.

Aik Tajar (dosre se) “ye dekhein ….. aap ka beta meri chawal ki borion se chawal nikal kar apni borion main bhar raha hay. Dosra tajar”who zara pagal hay”. Pehla tajar”agar pagal hay to apni borion se chawal nikal kar apni borian kune nahi bharta?” Dosra tajar ab who itna pagal bhi nahi hay.

Aik bacha jaldi se ghar dakhal hoa or bulb par apne baap ka naam likh kar bulb jala diya. Maan ne pocha.”beta ye kya kar rehy ho?” Bache ne kaha,baap ka naam rosan kar raha hun.

Abu ……Abu hum bhi chacha jaan ke sath hospital jayein gain.bacho ne zid ki. Aary tum wahan kya karo ge aba jaan ne pocha. Bachy bole aba jaan hum chahca jan ko rote hoye dekhein gain.

Ustaad(shagird se)main ne tum ko tarekh yaad karne ke liye kaha tha. Kya sab ne tarekh yaad ki hay? Sab sharidon ne jee ki awaz lagai . Acha tum batao sakeeb. Sakeeb bola”janab aj jauray ki 10 tarekh or 2008 hay

Aik bache ne dosre bache se pocha. Toto mian kya tum ne meri billi dekhi. Toto ! tumhari billi ki kya nashani hay?. Pehla bacha:meri billi miaon miaon karti hay.

Uataad: MBBS Shagird:mian bewi bachon samed.

Baap bete se dekho hamesha baron ki izat kiya karo. Beta:aba jaan isi liye to main ne master sahab ke sawal ka jawab nahi diya or unho ne muje class se nikal diya.

Aik admi ne chingchi ke driver se kaha station ke kitne paise lo ge? Driver:bhai sahab station meri malkiat nahi jo main is ke paise lun.

Baap bete se dekho Amir………tumhari lekhai bohot kharab hay.apni lekhai khush khat karo. Amir…….s.aba jaan bhala muje is ki kya zarorat haymain to bara ho kar doctor bana chahta hun.

Maan ne bete se kaha,mere chand khana kha lo. Beta,main abu ke sath khaon ga. Maan:tumhare abu showa hain jo in ke sayh roti khao ge.